Actress and talk show host Queen Latifah has revealed in the new issue of "Good Housekeeping" magazine that she once suffered from a alcohol abusive past, where she used alcohol to numb her pain, losing her brother in a motorcycle accident and vows to never sleep with a director to get a job.

Fans were taken back by Queen Latifah's revelation and never knew she had such a deep dark past. Queen opens up to the magazine and recalls using alcohol in the past to ease her pain following a violent 1995 car jacking, in which her passenger friend was shot and nearly died.

Latifah said she didn't cope with the shock of the incident well, adding, "Drinking a bunch of alcohol, numbing myself. Every day I would be faded, like a painting that's just not vibrant, whose edges are dull. I wasn't living my full life." Then Queen was "rocked to to the core" when her older brother, Lancelot Jr., an off-duty police officer, who was killed in a crash in 1992.

The accident occurred while he was riding a motorcycle Latifah gave him as a gift. Queen also talk about her career- "I'm not willing to sleep with the director or step on somebody else's neck to get the job."

Though her success story may read like a fairy tale, she has seen more than her share of trauma, tragedy, and self-destructive behavior en route to today's happy ending:

"There's probably no reason I should be here as an African-American girl from Newark," Latifah says. "And for a lot of the things I've wanted to do in life, I haven't looked typical," she adds, referring to Hollywood's beauty standards. While other aspiring actresses might have compromised themselves to win a role, Latifah has famously declared, "I was not born a size 2. I'm not skinny, period. I'm not willing to sleep with the director or step on somebody else's neck to get the job."

She also dished on putting faith first in her career and day-to-day life:

"I was continuously praying," she says. Ultimately, I realized that the anger I was feeling wasn't helping me or my brother. I learned that God was going to provide comfort; I know He is always listening and guiding me."

Latifah spoke to her departed brother and asked God for signs. She is convinced she received answers, which gave her hope:

"I got this little message in my head that I feel was from God. It was as clear as day, like a voice that said to me, Dana, don't let it all go, because you're gonna get through this." It made her realize something: "Nobody is perfect," she says resolutely. "I know that I'm not a saint, but God's love is there for me. I know that I need help to make it through every day, so I pray to God to help me do the best I can, to lift me up when I am tired and help me develop into the person He wants me to be…I am always surrounded by His love, and He is always there."

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