Dating
dating advice
What A Long Distance RELATIONSHIP May Say About You!
April 29, 2012Gossipwelove
I must admit that I'm a victim of long distant relationship that never make it. I’ll say it right off the bat: I don’t believe in long distance relationships. If you live in the same city for a while, and then one person has to move away, and you're still in the city then maybe that long distance (might work) until you can make new arrangements to leave. But, if you go away to another city, state or country, meet someone for just a few days, and decide to try and form a relationship around that after you get home, you might be guilty of the following:
Being selfish
Some people like their space. They don’t want to have to make sacrifices for a relationship and dating someone long distance eliminates that factor. Plan a weekend here and there to see them but other than that, when you’re at home, you base your plans and your life around nobody but yourself.
Maybe you get too into relationships and having one in your town disrupts your life. You end up shacking up with the person and neglecting your friends, your family, your work—the rest of your life. Dating someone long distance keeps them safely away from affecting your love/life balance.
You don’t know how to get past infatuation
When you go to see someone you’re dating long distance, it’s like a mini vacation. It’s probably a weekend or you both take work off so, you have no idea what the person is like when they are stressed. You get to do fun, exciting things like go out for meals, go dancing, go to museum—vacation type things—that always create a spark. You don’t know if you’d still like them if all you did was hang out on the couch all week. Essentially, you put yourself in a constant state of infatuation, where you don’t really get to know someone. That could be because you’re afraid to get there because you might get bored of them, or them of you.
You’re not comfortable with who you are
You can pretend to be somebody else entirely when you’re dating somebody long distance. If you go visit them, you can put on a whole show with a different personality. Nobody you know is around to say, “Wait a minute…that’s not you!”
You’re not happy where you are
You might just be unhappy in your own circumstances. You may not like the town you live in, or your job, or your living situation. You might just be looking for somewhere to escape to on a regular basis.
All in all, dating someone long distance allows you to live in a fantasy land. All dynamics of a real, grownup relationship are removed from it. It’s easy, and if there is anything wrong with you, it takes a loooong time for those issues to pop up if you’re only seeing someone every few weeks, and it’s under vacation-type circumstances. If you in fact seek out a long distance relationship, you may just be doing whatever you can to not face the mirror and ask, “What is wrong with me?”
9 comments
It takes two mature people to make a long distance relationship work. If one or both are easily tempted by what is readily available to them or easily rationalize cheating by citing their physical "needs", then long-distance love is not for them. When you know what you want and you know who you love, it's really quite easy. Check out my new book Layover by Peaches the Writer on Amazon Kindle.
ReplyDeleteI was in a long distance relationship because, It gave me the out and be able to say, I'm in a relationship when in reality I was really enjoying My ME time. And leaving my options open. I was window shopping. In other words having my cake and eating it too. When I no longer needed the protection from the "relationship" I (we) moved on. Trust me I KNEW he was NOT the person for me. But the mini vacations were very nice, it was always a good time. No drama... Now time for reality, relationships come with mostly good with sprinkles of bad. .
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but I think this list is complete bull. I mean I believe there are people foolish enough to do a long distance relationship for these reasons, but in my experience people don't willingly do it. I've been in a long distance relationship for quite a while and it had absolutely NOTHING to do with these items listed. The truth of the matter is we are in love but knew we would be separated for a while and made a promise to each other to hold on until we see each other again. If anything long distance relationships are a test of your character and love for your partner. I've never even heard of all of these reasons.
ReplyDelete@**JustMe**denial is not a river in egypt.
ReplyDelete@**JustMe**I must that this list has opened my eyes and I have been reading and I was life wow. So you need to re-read this again!
ReplyDeleteDamn here I was thinking I was able to handle my long-distance relationship because I loved guy more than the distance between us and I genuinely wanted to make it work. Thanks for the self-esteem boost.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very well-written article. I am someone who looks for long-distance relationships. So this pointed out some things for me.
ReplyDelete@OmazeI must say*
ReplyDeleteI have been in my long distance for 2 years now. This list is terrible and shows what a long distance realtionship is not. It is never all about you, you have to base your life on when your going to call or skype the other person, you send them packages and make them gifts and plan when you will see them. It is one of the toughest things ever and it isnt nice to put them down when people work so hard
ReplyDelete