Hot 97's DJ Mister Cee, real name Calvin LeBrun, has scored himself a feature in GQ Magazine to tell his side of "living a double life" and gave some insight into his second male prostitute solicitation scandal, which happened in September 2013, and explains how orange soda almost killed him.

If you can remember, Mister was exposed by a cross-dresser named Bimbo Winehouse via YouTube video, in an attempt to have sex with [Bimbo] for $100.

VIDEO: Mister Cee Stars In New Aids & Sexual Freedom PSA Following Transgender Solicitation Scandal

So when asked about his double life and having to tell his side of the story in the February 2014 issue of GQ magazine, he responded with, "even if I wanted to lie, that's my choice." Adding, "I'm absolutely not gay. And it's nothing—it's no offense to transgender women, but I only get with transgender women for one thing and one thing only, and that's for oral sex. Like I said: I never had sex with a man. I never had sex with a transgender woman."


Hot 97's program director, Ebro, who also shared the feature with Mister Cee, spoke about how it affected their relationship and how he handled the news.

Ebro:

I was like, ‘Cee, what the f-ck. What are we doing?’ ” Ebro remembers. “We got on the air and had the conversation.” “I don't have any more questions,” Ebro said in disgust, ending the conversation.

“I had my suspicions.” But at the same time, he adds, “I've met people and have known people in my life that did not categorize themselves as gay, right?” So “in the back of my mind I'm thinking, ‘He just doesn't categorize himself that way.’”

Cee explained how he reacted to almost losing his job and letting his family down:

It didn't matter that when Cee started getting caught, friends and other artists got in touch or sent their support. 50 Cent. Wyclef. Busta Rhymes. In 2011, Cee says, “I reached out to Jay Z for a favor, and he came through in less than a day.” Even then, he was afraid of what might happen if people learned the truth. Both his parents are dead. So is his grandfather. Now Cee takes care of his grandmother, his aunt, whoever needs help. “I hold my family down, man,” he says.”

So he continued to lie. “It wasn't even about losing the job. I was just afraid of what the perception was going to be about me and that people was still going to want to stand behind the Mister Cee brand,” he says. Promoters. People he worked with. And if they didn't, “how was I going to be able to continue to support and take care of the people that I care about?

I never really asked myself why I was doing it and still can't entirely explain why I was drawn to this specific, highly particular thing. 

“But the best way I can explain it is that I was so knee-deep into doing it that it became a part of me,” he says. “It's also the rush of: Get horny, A and B—you know, one plus one equals two. You get horny, go out, go get your shit off. It became a part of my routine. Even though I was fearful, there was a part of me that felt invincible, too.”

As for Mister Cee's orange soda addiction, he then talked about the day (September 11) the Daily News outted him, saying:

The day the article came out I felt like an actual dead person. “Literally dead, in the casket, in the coffin.” In his mind, a whole funeral scene unfolded: who came and didn't come, who was mourning, who was laughing from the back of the pews.

He slept a lot after that, he says. Drank so much soda he almost lost his sight. “I would buy two-liter Fanta Orange, two-liter Sprite, two-liter root beer—and I live by myself—just guzzling them. 

That's how I was getting through my pain, fucking going to sleep and drinking soda. And I'm not even a soda drinker. I drunk so much soda to the point where my diabetes—my sugar level went so high, I started getting blind.”

Mister Cee's said that after a slew of reports about his double life, he immediately came to terms with his trans fantasies by telling the truth and making amends with his love ones.

I know that I'm still in denial, because I know that I love women. Any woman that's been with me know that I love women, but occasionally I get the urge to have fellatio with a transsexual, a man that looks like a woman. So—and then I'm sitting here saying, “But I'm not gay,” because I haven't penetrated another man.

The first thing he did was make amends. “Once I told the truth last month, I made a list of everybody who I needed to apologize to,” he says. His court-ordered therapist was on that list. So was his younger sister. He still hasn't talked to his grandmother or his aunt about it, but they know: The day he resigned, he received a text message from his aunt, who is a minister and doesn't listen to secular music, let alone Hot 97. But somehow she heard. The text message said, “I love you.”

He went into the station and apologized to his co-workers. “I think I said to him, ‘Yo, that videotape was nuts!’” Flex remembers. “And he's laughing. Like, now we can act like we're on the corner; we're making fun. That's a good thing.” 

And then, one by one, he apologized to the other women in his life—friends and those who were maybe something more. Most understood. Some were even attracted by it—the radio interviews, especially the tearful second one, made him famous, or more famous than he already had been. But the truth is, “at this point in my life, I can't even begin to try to be in a serious relationship with a woman. That's the point that I'm at now: What do I want? Where am I at? Now that it's out in the open—everybody knows, I know—where am I going from here?”

He knows the illegal activity needs to stop—“If I get arrested right now for that same type of activity, I'm doing sixty days in jail, hands down, done”—and that he could lose his job if he gets caught again.

Be sure to read the full interview HERE.